June 18, 2009

Anderson Cooper's Mom Is Kind Of A Perv

Anderson Cooper's 85 year old mom, who used to be known as Gloria Vanderbilt, has just come out with an erotic novel entitled "Obession: An Erotic Tale". There's an article in today's TIMES that profiles her and includes some extremely weird and semi-racy excerpts from her debut novel, which is about a woman who is obsessed (duh) with her dead husband's erotic letters from a maybe-mistress. Check it out:
There are scenes involving dildos, whips, silken cords and golden nipple clamps, not to mention an ebony, smooth-backed Mason Pearson hairbrush purchased at Harrods. As the book explains, spanking with a Mason-Pearson is a “serious matter,” not the kind of thing that is rewarded with the “luscious afterglow of warm cocoa butter.” Mint, cayenne pepper and a fresh garden carrot are deployed in the book in ways never envisioned by “The Joy of Cooking.”
This sounds like it could be riotous out-loud beach reading, but actually erotic? Doubting it. One of the funnier things in the TIMES profile was the fact that a couple of her upper class friends advised her against writing this book, saying it would "ruin her reputation". Unfortunately, I think that happened back in 1980 when Ms. Vanderbilt (at a sprightly 54) was featured in TV ads sporting a pair of extremely tight jeans, a look which was then considered borderline slutty (see "Foxes"). As for Anderson's feelings about his mom's new, uhm, interests there is this direct quote:
“The six most surprising words a mother can say to her son are: ‘Honey, I’m writing an erotic novel.'"