Fast & Furious & Funny As Hell

OK--so I saw "Fast & Furious" on Friday and, unfortunately, it was neither. Frankly, it was sort of a dud. But SNL did a hilarious spoof of it this weekend with Seth Rogen. To say more would ruin the fun. Just check it out!

Dick Flick

We've all heard of Chick Flicks. Well today, a classic example of a Dick Flick is out; the fourth of the Fast/Furious series, cleverly titled "Fast & Furious". Actually, I thought that was the title of the first one but apparently that was "The Fast & The Furious". Hmmmm...this could be confusing to future film historians, don't u think? :)

Anyway, much to the surprise of some people, I actually enjoy a good Dick Flick. They have a lot of things I like in my mindless entertainment....crazy car chases, rockin' musical montages, hot tough guys, vintage muscle cars and very large explosions. The NY TIMES' Nathan Lee doesn't enjoy them quite so much. Mr. Lee's review, however, did have one clever line describing this car wreck (whoa!) of a movie: "This inoffensive if uninspired example of presummer pop diversion will be best appreciated by future audiences flabbergasted by its unabashed revelry in fossil-fuel consumption." Nice.

The big news for FF4 is that Paul Walker and above-pictured Vin Diesel are back for the first time since the original, along with semi-lesbian mess Michelle Rodriguez. So with all that potential mano a mano and maybe even some girl-on-girl action, not to mention all those car chases, I will be there for opening night. Vroom vroom.....

Traffic Signs Go !@#?*! Nuts

The latest trend in hi-tech geek pranks is hacking traffic signs. I'd recently read about this happening out in the suburbs and on rural highways so I was pretty surprised to see the phenomenon on my own street right here in the heart of NYC. My friend Mark Sam took this pic a couple days ago with his phone at the intersection of Houston and Broadway. It's a bit profane and somewhat absurdist, which suits Soho's quasi-artsy sensibility. But mainly, it made me laugh and that was all I needed to share it with you.

I Am A Gay American Idol

For the first time in maybe 5 years, I joined the rest of the country and watched "American Idol" last night. The reason? There is a gay on the show! Alright--I guess that's not exactly news. There have been some gays in the past, like Jim Verranos and Clay Aiken. But now there's Adam Lambert, currently in the final 9, who has been "outed" by pictures of him making out with guys, performing in drag and (here's the clincher) recordings of him in the cast of "Wicked".

So I decided to check him out and see what all the fuss was about. Well the fuss is not so much about being gay as about him blowing the competition out of the water. He looks like a Pete Wentz/Zac Efron mash-up and is clearly the one to beat on the show....and that is saying something given that most of the remaining finalists are all seriously talented, except maybe that blonde girl who did an ill-advised cover of Bob Marley. Not that Adam's song selection was that much better---"Play That Funky Music White Boy"? Really? A bit literal but then again "American Idol" is not exactly known for nuanced performances. However, it didn't really matter because the song could have been "Up With People" and he would have turned it into some crazy, sexy and rockin' shake down of a performance. With his screaming voice and sexy strut, I thought he could be a young Steven Tyler...which was exactly what that new judge said! I like her. :)

Apparently, there is some controversy that Adam has not actually stated publicly he is gay. Yeah...and neither did Little Richard, or Elton John, or George Michael (and then only when he had to). I mean it's, uh, kinda obvious people. The refreshing thing is that there seems to be a sort of "who cares" attitude about his sexuality. Besides, as a friend of mine put it, are the straight contestants declaring their heterosexuality? Good point. I just hope that when he wins he brings his boyfriend on stage and gives him a big nationally televised kiss.

NetPix: Lars & The Real Girl

Ever since I was in film school, people have been asking me what movies they should see. Lately this question has evolved into friends looking for films for their NetFlix queue. Thus...one of the semi-regular features I'll be doing is "NetPix", where I tell you what you should see and, hopefully, you heed my advice and love my recommendations. If not, it's Netflix so it's not like you're out 12 bucks or anything!

My inaugural "NetPix" is a movie that ended up on my own queue reluctantly; "Lars And The Real Girl". I had heard about when it was released as it received some pretty decent notices and awards nominations. Still,I was wary of "Lars" premise, about a guy in a small town who starts dating a full-size, human sex doll. The whole thing sounded a little twee. (Does anyone use that word anymore?)

Well, I was completely wrong. "Lars" is a total trifecta hit; gorgeously shot, beautifully acted,and sharply written. It's a sweet and quirky story that is actually a bit more complicated than I expected it to be, probably due to the lightweight impression created by its TV commercials. (I think that, as a rule, good movies do not boil down into good 30-second TV ads.) "Lars" works so well because it takes its premise, that Ryan Gosling has fallen for a fake girlfriend, quite seriously. There is some real psychology in the movie explaining this phenomenon,presented credibly by Patricia Clarkson's smokey-voiced local doctor. But "Lars" does have a sense of humor too. In fact, it is quite funny as it delicately walks that very fine line between silly and sad.

I'm surprised the film did not get some more serious juice around awards time. Maybe if "Juno" (which gave quirky a bad name) hadn't taken up all the awards oxygen in '08, this lovely little movie could have breathed a bit more and taken home some honors. But, in the end it's still a damn good movie. And if it doesn't make you a little weepy (in a good way!), your tear ducts may need to be checked.

"You've Danced With A Persian"

I was at a friend's party in midtown this weekend when someone suggested going to Habibi. Habibi is an Arabic word which, translated into English, means "my beloved" and/or "I love you", depending on how it's used. However, when used to describe a certain Saturday night at the China Club where the crowd is 99.9% male, it means "I love you hot Arabic gay man."

The Habibi party is a monthly gathering of gays from the pan-Arabic world and the men who love them. It moves location each time and, though the China Club was convenient to the party I was attending, the space was odd and felt like an queasy mix of Elks Lodge and Colorado apres ski circa 1979. But more importantly, it was filled with a hot and friendly crowd so we stayed. For a while...

The music was a mix of Arabic pop, Bollywood disco numbers, and a few tracks that sounded like a Muslim call to prayer with a slammin' bass beat behind it. There was even a belly-dancer intermission around 1:30am during which a real woman did some serious shaking and waving of veils along with her assets. It kinda reminded me of those gay flag dancers and made me wonder if there was some evolutionary link between the two.

In general, the crowd was very mixed, though a Turk in our party said that the majority of the folks there were Iranian from what he could tell. This made me fell better about the pricey $20 cover; we weren't just hanging out in a gay disco on a Saturday night, we were doing our part for world peace. You know, getting a dialgoue started, dancing without preconditions, etc. Actually, the best part about the party, was all the dancing. There was even some dirty dancing. In particular, there was this one dark, handsome man who really did look like "a young prince out of the Arabian Nights" who started bumping up against me at one point. He was very energetic and had the body to prove it. Anyway, when the song and our dance ended he said to me (and this is a direct quote) "now you can say you've dance with a Persian." Nice.

So yeah....I've now officially checked that one off the Bucket List and can now move onto belly dancing. See you next month, Habibis!

Ye Olde Forgotten Train Tunnel

ABC News recently did a story about the Atlantic Avenue Tunnel, one of oldest train tunnels in NYC that dates from the 1840's. The tunnel was "lost" for many years and found in the early 1980's by Bob Diamond, a subway/city history buff who now runs tours. I've taken the tour, which starts by dropping into an open manhole at the intersection of Court & Atlantic in Brooklyn and ends at the dark end of the tunnel where, after about 100 yards, it abruptly stops. Jerry Kolber, a producer on my new film PROM QUEENS, is also working on a doc about the tunnel and Bob Diamond's efforts to open it up all the way to the waterfront. Fascinating stuff.

Hot Summer Movie Alert--"Taking Woodstock"

The trailer for Ang Lee's new flick "Taking Woodstock" was released today. Damn--I wish the actual movie was being released today! This looks like a whole lotta fun. That Demetri Martin is quite cute and plays a gay in this movie. Also, the idea of Liev Schreiber going tranny is just....intriguingly bizarre. Could this be the HAIRSPRAY of '09? I guess I'll have to wait 'til Augst 14th (Woodstock's 40th anniversary!) for the answer.

Every Day Is New Year's Day...

Not being a true New Yorker (I'm originally from Maryland), I still find myself looking up like a common tourist and often being surprised by what I see walking around the city. So last night, I was heading down Broadway and what did I spy on top of One Times Square but the 2009 New Year's Eve ball, still blinking and glowing and making all sorts of beautiful kaleidoscopic patterns, almost three months after all those revellers had gone back to Europe.

At first, I thought it was a sign of the current bad economic times. I wondered if the city had run out of money to remove it and decided it would be cheaper to just leave it there. However, though the city is in dire financial straits and yesterday raised the subway fare by 50 cents, the ball was actually left there on purpose and will now be a permanent attraction for years to come.

Apparently tourists year-round were always asking where it was so the city decided to build a better ball (twice as large as the last one) and leave it there as a permanent attraction...albeit one that is about 25 stories up. I grabbed this picture of it from the Times Square website, which makes it look like a colorful Epcot Center. But it's really much cooler than that in person. Next time you're in the vicinity, look up and see for yourself.

The Soundtrack Of Our Youth

I'm probably being a tad presumptuous with that headline, which assumes that everyone reading my blog spent the majority of their wasted youth in 1980's. If, in fact, you did, I can guarantee you will love this link to a site where you can listen to audio playback of 80's video games sound effects.

Some industrious geeks in Falmouth, Mass. spent endless nights at their local arcade (Time Out?) not only playing but recording all the action on cassette tapes. What's even better than the sound efx is all the random background chatter; "how do you learn how to die?" was my personal favorite during a game of Berzerk.

As you listen, the memories will flood back...not just of the gaming hits like Pac-Man or Donkey Kong, but also gems like Q-Bert, Dig-Dug and yes, even Rootbeer Tapper. (Anyone who played and loved this game is my new best friend!) So listen and, if you become obsessed, you can even purchase a DVD for hours of home listening pleasure for only 20$. And that is a nostalgia bargain!