NetPix: Tulpan

Critics are putting together their year-end lists of the best films of 2009.  One of my personal favorites has popped up on a few lists, namely topping the list by the New York TIMES' Manohla Dargis.  It is probably a movie you've never heard about as it had a very limited release here in the US.  But it is one of the most unusual, bleakly beautiful and cinematically incredible films you will ever see. There is also a scene about halfway through that is the most unbelievable 15 minutes I have ever seen in a movie.  Ever.


The movie is called "Tulpan" and it's a romantic dramedy set in the steppes of Kazakhstan.  OK--I know that one line description is likely setting off alarm bells.  But trust me...this movie takes you to a place you will likely never go in your life and makes it something of an adventure.  Basically, "Tulpan" is a love story at it's heart about a family's attempt to marry it's daughter while raising some very peculiar animals on a wind swept plain.  With a stark realism and a simply told story, this movie is almost documentary-like in its clear-eyed look at a way of life that is hard and hard to describe.  


Currently, "Avatar" is everywhere, promising to take you to a world you've never seen before.  Sure...but it's a world that doesn't exist.  Remarkably, Kazakhstan is an actual place on this planet with real people and a group of animals with more personality than a Pixar barnyard.  The only warning I need to give is that this movie is long and takes a certain amount of patience. It also helps if you have a massive TV to appreciate the film's epic landscape and  gorgeous cinematography.  But I guarantee that if you stick it out, this movie and the people in it will stay with you forever.  

Merry Christmas Video

Today's special Christmas clip is from the website EverythingIsTerrible, connoisseurs of the worst video of the 70's, 80's and 90's. They did a fun holiday compilation which even includes clips from the infamous and rarely seen Star Wars Holiday Special. Here's wishing you a great Christmas!

A Charlie Brown Christmas--Director's Cut

For a while, the only online version of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" was a 21 minute version which was less than half the original show's length.  In the spirit of the holiday, ABC has finally posted the full show to Hulu for your holiday entertainment.

It's easily my favorite Christmas special of all-time. I think I enjoy it even more now as an adult than as a kid.  And with lines like "Christmas is a commercial racket run by an Eastern syndicate", it's not hard to see why.  It's also now available on Blu-ray too....which makes me think the show itself has become a commercial racket too. 

The Physics of Space Battles

Ever since seeing Star Wars as a kid, I've been a sucker for a good space fight.  However, when I was in sophomore chemistry class, it was pointed out to me that fireballs in space were a total Hollywood creation.  Fire needs oxygen, something the chasm of intergalactic space lacks.  Not that physics ever stopped George Lucas....


This week, there is a thorough debunking of the myths of space combat perpetrated by the movies over at Gizmodo.  The writer, Joseph Shoer (who happens to be a PhD candidate in aerospace engineering) discusses how dull and slow space combat would actually be.  And that there wouldn't be colorful lasers shooting around like some disco in space.  The energy to generate laser beams would be enormous and, again, not exactly practical on board a spacecraft.  Also another big problem is getting troops to fight on a distant planet.  The energy to land a bunch of Intergalactic Marines on Mars isn't the problem...the real challenge is getting them off the planet and up through the thick, Martian atmosphere.  In fat, it's that exact problem which has been holding up a manned mission to the red planet all these years.


So for the time being, until there's some breakthrough in FTL drives or transporters, space combat is going to be strictly something for the big screen.  Which is probably for the best, given that here's enough real combat on this world already.

Krampus And The Evil Side of Christmas

In some parts of Europe, namely Austria and Bavaria, Christmas is not all jolly present giving.  There's Krampus to contend with a.k.a. the evil side of Christmas.  Krampus is a mythical, incubus-esque creature with horns who drags some rusty chains around and scares the crap out of all the bad kids.  If they're really bad, legend has it, he will even drag them to the gates of Hell and drop them into the fiery eternal furnace.  Merry Christmas!  Leave it to the Germans to turn Christmas into horror story.

Anyway, here in the US, the tradition of bad children getting coal seems to have fallen by the wayside.  It seems that today's kids get tons of gifts no matter what.  So Krampus has now landed on US soil, with his own website and everything, to get today's lazy, shiftless toddlers in line.  

A couple weeks ago, he made an appearance on the Colbert Report where her terrorized the host and smashed a plate of cookies with his chains.  Personally, I found it a little hard to be scared of the beast, knowing that underneath all that fake fur was my friend Mark Sam, who got the gig due to his fluency in Germanic cursing.  Still, I think Krampus would be a fine addition to the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, scaring all the European tourists in midtown.  Oh what a joyous holiday scene that would be! 

Chaos 'n Candy 'n The True Meaning of Christmas

Tonight I'm attending the 8th annual incarnation of Adam Dugas' downtown Christmas pageant known as "Chaos and Candy". This celebration of the true meaning of Christmas, set to a rock beat and filled with glamour and glitter, started out in a Williamsburg warehouse in 2001 and has now moved the respectable stage of the Abron Arts Center. It is my newest and funkiest holiday tradition and one that is always truly entertaining.

If you're in the city, it's definitely worth checking out. If not, I've included a clip from the '07 CnC of Angela DiCarlo singing "Country Christmas Trolls". Yes Virginia it's true...they will put Cream of Wheat in your stocking!

Don't Stop Believin' (x5)

To deal with my GLEE-withdrawal, I was trolling around on YouTube last night when I found this popular cover (3 million plus hits!) of the GLEE version of "Don't Stop Believin'". What's unique here is that one very talented Yale junior, Sam Tsui, sings all five parts. Sam and his producing partner, Kurt Schneider, are totally adorkable, grew up on the same street together, went to high school and then Yale too. No word on whether they're an actual couple, but their creative collaborations on this and other pop songs are super cute.

Cate Blanchett IS Blanche Dubois

Last night, I went to BAM to see the new production of Tennessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire". Simply put, it was stunning. I have read the play many times, seen more than a few productions and watched the movie countless times but last night I felt like I was seeing it all for the first time. And most of that is due to Cate Blanchett's remarkable performance as a character that too often becomes a caricature, Blanche Dubois. That was not the case in this production, masterfully directed by Liv Ullman. Blanche is real...almost too real. Which, in the end, makes this play the epic American tragedy it was always meant to be.

Blanche is played here as a fairly competent, cheerful and together woman (after all, she WAS a schoolteacher for all those years) who just now is beginning to teeter and fall under the weight of a lifetime of lies, disappointments and delusions, not to mention a healthy appetite for whiskey. Blanchett lives this transformation in a stunning three-hour tour plus de force of acting, as we watch her struggle with the demons and madness that slowly start to swallow Blanche whole.

However, this is not to say this "Streetcar" is a one woman show (another trap that other versions fall into). All the characters here are drawn out equally well and there are some unusual new twists to the interpretation of Mitch, Blanche's suitor, and Stanley, Blanche's pursuer. As Ben Brantley states in his eloquent review, this is not played as the battle of Stanley v. Blanche....it's more Blanche against herself. And when she loses, it is truly heartbreaking.

When a buzz show like this becomes a "hot ticket", I am usually wary of the hype. In this case, I can honestly state that the hype doesn't get the half of it. Cate is truly remarkable but as another playwright once said, the play is the thing. And here Tennessee Williams' "Streetcar" is restored with its author's original intent fully realized. This is powerful stuff and, if the theatre gods (aka Equity) have any mercy, the show will hopefully end up on Broadway next year for many more to see.

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On George

This is a clip from the UK's talent show, "The X-Factor" with finalist Joe McElderry doing a duet with George Michael. Though GM has certainly had his share of troubles in recent years, he can still sing like it's 1985. And the new kid's not so bad either.

Washington Square Road

This image comes from a book currently on my nightstand, Anthony Flint's "Wrestling With Moses". In the 1950's, city planner and master builder Robert Moses wanted to extend Fifth Avenue through Washington Square Park to connect with West Broadway, creating an express route through the village that would be called Fifth Avenue South.

This planned roadway that would have surely destroyed the heart of Greenwich Village looks almost quaint in this rendering. It's notable that, for an extension of heavily trafficked Fifth Avenue, there are only three cars visible. Of course, if this terrible plan had come to fruition, the park would be filled with the sound of bumper to bumper cars honking....just like the rest of Fifth Avenue. The reason this never happened is the topic of the book.

Jane Jacobs, a writer for Architectural Digest and a longtime Village resident, organized a group of local mothers and started a movement which not only killed Fifth Avenue South but also led to the cancellation of Moses's biggest potential urban renewal disaster, the scarily-named LOMEX (Lower Manhattan Expressway). This 6-lane superhighway would have sliced through Soho and the Lower East Side on what is now Broome street, carrying traffic from the Holland Tunnel to the Manhattan Bridge.

Anthony Flint's book is a true-life David & Goliath story. Moses, who had figured out how to manipulate the political, financial and social systems of New York to completely redraw the way the city was connected, was unstoppable...or so it seemed. Until, that is, Jacobs challenged him, killing the beast before it ate the Village and Soho. Of course, we now know how this all turned out but the book is still a very compelling read given the fact that it easily could have gone the otherway, like in the faux-pastoral picture above.